Today I’m going to tackle a topic I generally don’t address, but every day this week I have heard someone talking about marriage. When I listened to Dr. Dobson this evening I heard about a book that had a familiar ring – Sex in the Kitchen, which deals with the importance of a man sharing in housework to bring the kind of response from his wife that he is looking for. It brought back to my mind something my former pastor used to say, “Sex Begins in the Morning!” Let me explain.
Many husbands wait until evening to try to get their wife in the mood for what they hope will come later. What my Pastor said, that a wise husband begins in the morning letting his wife know that he loves her; doing kind and thoughtful things for her; and give her the kind of affirmation that reminds her why she fell in love with him in the first place. Woman, who are by nature receivers, are able to receive the expression of love from such treatment and are more willing to give the kind of love the husband identifies with.
When we go to the scripture, a familiar passage follows:
Ephesians 5:31-33
31For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
32This mystery is very great, but I speak concerning [the relation of] Christ and the church.
33However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]. (AMP)
Scripture itself declares that the husband should (without exception) show his wife that he loves her, even as he loves his own self – showing women that they are loved in their love language is very important to maintaining a strong marriage. But there is no period after this passage there is a conjunction – “and” – for marriage is not one-sided, there is a role the wife has to play. The wife must see to it that she respects and reverences her husband and in this translation it makes it very clear that to do that properly it includes, deferring to him, praising him, loving and admiring him.
Now all the women may be saying – the Bible was written by men, that is why the role of the wife seems to include more than that of the husband – but not so – although scripture declares plainly what it means for a wife to respect and reverence her husband – it is also just as clear that a husband must love his wife as he loves his own self – that speaks volumes – for if a husband defers all the desires that he has for himself with regard to how it will impact and serve his wife then that will be a full-time job!
Marriage is under such attack in this country – let us celebrate marriage – and a great way is to attend the HeartLife Marriage Retreat, October 16-19, 2009. 
I’m sure my husband and I could go round and round regarding this subject. I could highlight sentences which I feel needs work as I’m sure my husband could too, but who is ultimately responsible? I believe both are, but God will hold the man responsible for taking care of his family since God made the man priest, provider and protector of it. A man who finds a wife findeth and good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. He’s the initiator, she is the responder. Enough said.